One week ago, after a year of searching, we finally got
our answer. After twelve months of doctor appointments, specialty appointments,
screenings, therapy sessions, developmental testing, genetic testing, parent interviews,
questionnaires, clinical observations, wait lists, and more wait lists… Ethan’s
developmental pediatrician was sitting across from me with our answer. Finally
an answer. This is what I had spent the last year of my life waiting for and fighting
for and praying for. Doctor Cooper looked me in my eyes and finally said out
loud what I have known in my heart for a long time.
“Ethan is autistic.”
“Ethan is autistic.”
This news came two days before Christmas and I know most
people won’t ever understand, but it was the best gift we could have received.
Not the best news, but the best gift. We have our answer. The emotional
roller coaster of fighting and advocating to get this official diagnosis is
over. We can now get our sweet boy the help that he needs.
I wasn’t sure when or how to share this news, but I knew
I had to… For many reasons. Our support system has been by our side from the
very beginning of this journey. We have been loved, supported, cheered on, and
prayed for throughout all of the ups and downs that the past year has brought.
We have promised to keep you all updated and it is a promise I intend to keep.
There have been so many days that I would get home from a doctor appointment or
a therapy session and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed with my little guy
and shut the world out. But I knew my family and friends were waiting for
answers just as we were, so I sent out those update texts and made those
difficult phone calls. You got your updates and I got something so much more. I
got unconditional love on the other end of the phone. No matter how many miles
separated us, I felt the love and support from more people than I can count. I
was forced to talk through my emotions instead of shutting them out. I am ever
grateful for the support system that I have been blessed with.
Ethan is incredibly lucky to have so many people in his corner. He deserves it. I love my son more than anything in the world and I know with a surety that the Lord has made Ethan exactly as he should be. I truly believe that we are given unique and specific trials to go through in life to learn from; so that we can be strengthened and refined. Every single one of us has limitations and challenges. Some are physical, some are emotional, some are mental, some are spiritual. Ethan’s challenges are different than most, but I know that he will do amazing things. He has already taught me so much about unconditional love and acceptance, about patience and grace, about personal strength and perspective. Would I take away some of the hard things that he’ll have to experience in life if I could? Sure. I think any mother would do that for any one of her children. But if by some kind of miracle, I could snap my fingers and somehow “fix” this… I wouldn't. I would NOT change my son. He is the sweetest, purest, most loving little human that I have ever known and he has a big impact to make on this world. Ethan has taught me so much in the past two and a half years without ever saying a word... And I am not done learning from him.
Ethan is incredibly lucky to have so many people in his corner. He deserves it. I love my son more than anything in the world and I know with a surety that the Lord has made Ethan exactly as he should be. I truly believe that we are given unique and specific trials to go through in life to learn from; so that we can be strengthened and refined. Every single one of us has limitations and challenges. Some are physical, some are emotional, some are mental, some are spiritual. Ethan’s challenges are different than most, but I know that he will do amazing things. He has already taught me so much about unconditional love and acceptance, about patience and grace, about personal strength and perspective. Would I take away some of the hard things that he’ll have to experience in life if I could? Sure. I think any mother would do that for any one of her children. But if by some kind of miracle, I could snap my fingers and somehow “fix” this… I wouldn't. I would NOT change my son. He is the sweetest, purest, most loving little human that I have ever known and he has a big impact to make on this world. Ethan has taught me so much in the past two and a half years without ever saying a word... And I am not done learning from him.
No comments:
Post a Comment